At Yvonne Allen and Associates we learn a lot about our clients. And about things that can make or break a potential relationship through the feedback we receive after they meet someone for the first time. Many happy couples who have partnered the Yvonne Allen way would not have met for a second time if we had not intervened after reading their respective feedback. They would both have grown cobwebs waiting for the other to make the next move, doubting that they had impressed!
A Common Misconception
One of the common causes of misperception about how a first date has fared could be called ‘the peacock phenomenon’. It is something that is common amongst many males of the human species but is reminiscent of the behaviour of a peacock as it struts its stuff, fanning its splendid feathers to attract the hen.
Over the years many a woman has written on her feedback form to us that while she found a man attractive, it would seem that he didn’t think the same about her. All he did through the date was talk about himself, his work and his achievements. Other than asking her what she would like to order for her dinner, he failed to ask her anything about herself which surely was indicative of a lack of interest in her on his part! The feedback from the male however, often tells a different story. He is likely to say that he found the woman very appealing and delighted in her company. She listened attentively to him and the communication over dinner was terrific. He thought she was really interested. So he felt surprised and disappointed at the end of the evening when she seemed somewhat cool and keen to call it a night.
How to Impress on a First Date
Maybe you have been on a first date that could have become something more but somehow fizzled? Maybe as a man trying to impress a delightful woman you took on the peacock persona rather than encouraging her to reveal more about herself? And, if a woman, maybe you kept listening and asking questions that fanned his enthusiasm to show even more of his feathers….failing to flash your own!